Dating a guy 30 years older

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Prior to his first message, he had looked at my profile almost every day for weeks, unaware or not bothered that the site notches up each viewing. And an older woman's going to easily be smart enough to know that, too. Get to know your own body.

He was just dressing me up and showing me off and wanting me to be there for him at all times. Aside from the caballeros, though, they have an incredible bond. MadameNoire is a sophisticated lifestyle publication that gives African-American women the latest in fashion trends, black entertainment news, parenting tips and beauty secrets that are specifically for black women. That's one good thing about marrying an older man—he listens better than a younger one. I have always been met to older men. He's such a kind and loving person. Not everyone is looking for a Relationship -- and not everyone is looking for just a one-night stand at the same time, either.

Don't try and get us to do acid again just because you want to see if we can recreate the time we went to Bonnaroo 10 years ago. We had worked together for three years and although I always found him attractive I had never considered him. Login This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.

Things You Should Know Before Dating An Older Man - So I am not being sexist. The mistake people make is thinking that we haven't given consideration to these ourselves.

We all remember when 27-year old Ashley Olsen made headlines for 47-year-old Bennett Miller, the director of Moneyball. And, yes, I know some younger men date older women. Kyle Jones, a 31-year-old Pittsburgh guy, was in the news for with 91-year-old great-grandmother, Marjorie McCool. So I am not being sexist. However, this article is about younger women falling in love with older men. And I don't mean a few years older. Traditionally, it has not just been customary but also advisable for girls to marry men who were a few years older - maybe by two to five years. There are biological as well as psychological reasons for this. For instance, girls enter puberty sooner, their bodies are ready to have children earlier, and they only remain fertile for a limited time period. Psychologically, they reach emotional maturity much sooner than men. In fact, statistics prove that, on average, American men marry younger women. Financial gain seems to be the obvious answer, so I will get it out of the way straightaway. Girls get a head-start by marrying older men, as it affords them a similar or better lifestyle than they were used to while living with their parents. After all, their parents would have secured a commendable standard of living in their middle age, and the girl would like to ensure that she gets similar comforts when she marries. If she were to marry a man the same age or slightly younger, they both would be starting out together and would lead a life of struggle initially—at least before they can plant their feet firmly in their respective careers. So, such an affair results in financial security. There are other, more complex psychological reasons. As they say, a girl marries a guy that reminds her of her father. Girls are used to their father's protection and care. Such a caring and loving attitude is usually found in older men. Men her age typically though not necessarily are as mature or even less mature than herself and are not yet ready to take on the responsibility of a partner. Girls want to grow up fast, and they feel all grown up with an older man who socializes with others his age. Finally, it is easier for younger girls to relate to them. In their early twenties, young girls are still trying to come to terms with their identity. They are still dealing with their emotions. They need a strong anchor, and a mature man can provide that emotional stability. What's Causing This Trend? Online dating sites have made it easier for women to find men of all varieties—single, divorced, rich, and even married men. In fact, many are full of married men pretending to be single or divorced. Because such websites attract more men than women, they often offer women incentives such as free registration and discretion. All of this makes it easier for younger women to meet and date younger men. You must consider the following differences before marrying or even getting into a relationship with an older man. Because of this, I believe it is a terrible idea for young girls to fall in love with older men. Finally, let's get into some of the problems that a couple may face when the guy is much older. To get an idea of the possible challenges, you only have to read the experiences of women who have married old men. These tragic stories are all over the internet. So, I will be very blunt in the list below. You will be in the prime of your life, and he'll be rapidly approaching the end of his. While you are spending hours in the hospital because he has fallen ill, your friends will be sharing stories about their baby showers and their children's sports activities. His wife and his children will always be his top priority. Which is why he is still married and you are his mistress. An older man's sperm usually cannot produce healthy babies. Physically he may not be able to do all the activities with your child that are expected of a father. Emotionally, he may not be ready to create competition for his kids from his previous first marriage. The benefits of dating an older man are very few, and most fathers would have a hard time if their daughters began to date one. To be fair, some couples have successfully lived together despite the age difference. Despite all your differences, it is the willingness to talk that keeps the flame burning bright. Talk to him, listen to him, share ideas. Discuss things you like and dislike. Talk about your future plans. That's one good thing about marrying an older man—he listens better than a younger one. Read a lot so that you can discuss politics, entertainment, and sports. That brings me to my next point. I know it's a stereotype that men like sports. Develop an interest in whatever it is that he likes. Also, get him to do the same for what you love to do. Doing things together improves communication, which was my previous point. However, my next point is going to contradict this one. But also spend time apart so that each of you can do the things the other doesn't like on your own. There's no point trying to force your man to go shopping with you, for example. Let him catch up with a buddy over a beer while you go and spend his money. You will need to find the right balance between doing things together and being independent. What do you think? Do you have first-hand experience with an older man? Or do you know someone who does? Share your thoughts in the comments section below. I'm 27 years old my son's dad is 46 yrs old i met him when i was 22 yrs old. He told me he was divorce with 2 kids he was living alone the kids used to come once in the while. There's a married woman who used to take care of the kids and he said that woman was his best friend after 2 years i discovered that he was sleeping with the woman for the past 8 yrs and that woman was playing the role of a sister in law cooking sometimes for us i saw her naked pictures ob his phone and other pictures of her lying on our bed when i traveled out to Egypt. It breaks my heart into pieces before that I've tried to get married twice but each time we're planning for that something must happened. I love kisses but he doesn't kiss and i never cheated on him for that at times goes i stop loving him each time i see him he's disgusting me. I couldn't tell him i don't love him anymore because he was taking care of my needs and wanted to sponsor my musical career above that i didnt want my son to grow up like me without a father. I rejected lot of marriage proposal just because i thought no man can't love my son like his father. I moved to South Africa 2 years ago and i left him in UK we've been living separate for the past 2 years he came 2 times a year. Last time he came i couldn't pretend anymore i told him i don't love him anymore and I'm not interested in any marriage with him he treathen to block my passport, to harm me , etc... My family started pressuring me that i should forgive and let go for my future is guaranty with him he promised to do anything if i accept him back. I don't love him anymore and i can't marry for money i definitely know that i won't be satisfied sexually and i would be having sex out but i don't want that kind of marriage I'm also thinking about my son because he needs medical attention everytime he's an albino. What should I do? There's someone 9 years older than me single who has been there for the past 4 months he wants to settle and want me to have kids before doing the music. I'm confused please help me. We have been married for 8 years out of the 10. I will say there are a lot of hurdles when it comes to age gap relationships and him and I have been through some questionable times but we love each other very much and talk about everything. There is nothing we won't do for each other. He was married before, thankfully with no children. We now have two healthy children together and he is an amazing father at his age. Does more than I see most fathers do at younger ages. Maybe we are a lucky couple but we are proof that age gaps can work. As far as health issues.. I have had more than him, so him being older isnt a sure fine way he will have more. Anyway, we live happily together with our family, and enjoying our life. If you love each other, that's all that matters. Older women will always hate May-December relationships because the older women thinks that she can no longer compete against a younger women. On the other side you ladies are only seen one side of the equation, your side! How about seen both sides of the equation, men's needs and wants? Lets also review one of my favorites passages of the Bible, 1Kings 1:1 The Death of King David. Personally I see the female question and fear to a younger female because of the monogamy model that forces men to abandon a woman to have another. I will never trade my 50 years old wife, her wisdom, her love real , her company our cinversation are priceless. However, I also would love to have a younger women too and she knows it and understands me. No the question is, if I can afford it, why I cannot have another younger women in my life and share my life openly and in agreement between the parties involve? Please lets explore this landscape! In her world you are the Alpha Man. However, marriage and kids so fast? Whether she is a virgin or not is not an issue. The issue at hand is trust! What really worries me is that she is 17, a teenager that changes her wants, ideals and ideas every 5 minutes. For her, what is the meaning of love? Today she loves you, tommorrow she will be in love with Justin Beaver or with the new Policeman in town. You are looking for trouble! Most of the things in this article is true... But, I think relationships are personal and therefore subjective. I have been with my guy for 14 yrs. We just clicked from the get go. All the things you listed here are subjective. I wanted to have children. But its not imperative to have biological children. Adoption is an option if I decide to go ahead with it. Yes, he is wealthy. But I am not poor gyal either making six figures. At first, I did fall prey to most of the negative reasons you cited in your blog and decided to try dating younger guys. They were a bust. Nothing compared to my relationship with my older mature guy. Ppps: I would rather have a short but truly fulfilling marriage with my older guy than marry a younger man who may make my life miserable in the short future. A high Quality of Life is based on less superficial things. It is just a mere personal opinion without any sociological or scientific fact! My comnent is based on series of books written by scientist that are well respected on the academia and based on actual research. My other source that I did mentioned comes from the Bible. If you do not agree with science and research nor me or any other educated person cannot have a civilized conversation about this topic! No, there no political correctness on my comments, just the ugly cold and hard facts! I also think that once society deems it more acceptable, women will start to admit that younger men are very appealing. Sexually, youth is appealing to everyone - including women. I had older-man fantasies in my youth because I had issues with my own father. When I tried it, I was quite turned off, sad to say. Unless the older man looks like James Bond, it is not too appealing for a woman. I personally have never been attracted to anyone more than 6 years my senior. Maybe, had I been dirt poor, I would have forced myself to marry a much older man but since I did not have to, I did not. Woman by nature is attracted to older men. By nature woman is hypergamous, tend to marry upward, and monogamous. While men by nature tends to be hypogamous, marries downward, and polygamous. Since women and society tend to force monogamy there is the tendency of serial monogamy. Serial monogamy usually goes hand in hand with something called menopause, in which women tend to lose interest in sex and men tend to look for another women and there comes the divorce. Marrying a younger women in a worst case scenario it can end up during sex by the young women giving the man a heart attack, and that, is dying happy! But let's always remember 1Kings 1, the death of king David! One of the main reasons is men my age know how to be a man. Younger men struggle with this today. They dont take charge, they ask too many questions, they arent humble, and in lots of cases they arent tough. The list goes on and on. Its not about money. No man wants to date a woman that wants him for his money. The attraction is his hustle and drive. The woman i date now is great. Shes funny, cool, and is interesting. Shes not some 22 year old club chick. We have been together for almost 4 years so far. We have a son. He was single when we met, simply he hadn't found a soulmate. When we met he was unemployed because the factory where he had worked for 10 years had closed. So I find offensive pretending that all women dating older men do it for money. I found him sweeter and more reliable, that's all. By time he started to work again. With the son he has far more energy than me, this is a thing that surprised me very much: every night is he to wake up and give milk to the baby. A man in his 40s is still strong and pretty young but at the same time not immature and superficial like younger men. I think that men in their 40s are better marriage-material, and not just for money, oh no! That's the last why. Just look at how younger people are: spoiled, superficial, less gallant and also less virile. I am stl supportive. He has a farm he loves and I have a house in town. His farm is left to his daughters so I will be in my house when he passes. I love him more than the men I have dated who were younger. He is a widower who never went out on his wife. Many older men have better morals than younger men who are lying womanizer not all but many. My man is the sweetest man I know and I totally trust him.. Older men are so awesome most of them anyway there are your few that are not still as grown up but they have so much knowledge and so do older women. My choice has always been a oh he is much to old for you Man Older men and younger women can connect way better than same age couples. They know exactly what the other one needs emotionally. When you have your younger man still trying to prove himself in life the wives get neglected a lot in her emotional needs she is ready for that way earlier in life so being with her more established man he is definitely ready to love her like the crazy passion that she needs and deserves in life. She doesn't have to wait years for that attention she usually is so craving and then have that same age man get tired of her. Like a lot of men do being married to a woman closer in age. I just know it works out that way a lot. I always prefer a big age gap like this person just sat there and shot down! BABY I LOVE YOU. He was able to provide financial security and a certain lifestyle. We broke up as friends 3 years later because he was settling down and I wanted to keep exploring, being social and crazy etc. I soon met a locally known man and we are now together — I 29, he 66. Though he is much older than my husband and poor as dirt, he is more energetic, virile and strong. More even than myself! We are more suited to each other. I think the above article shows limited understanding of age-gap relationships, though overall it's fairly truthful, just shallow. I love men for who they are but do acknowledge I simply feel more attracted to older men. It's simply a physical thing — I like the rugged skin, crow's feet and silver hair. I believe that can be true the other way around as well. We don't have daddy or daughter issues and people who care can see we are equals. Another thing that's worth mentioning is that most people don't consider that it's not easy to emotionally satisfy an older man. It's much more a challenge for the woman than people think but I believe worth it, for me at least. We Have A great Connection. We talk all The Time He supports me and he's here for me when I need him to be. He has a sense Of Humor Like me. We Both Have A lot In Common. And He Makes me smile and He Makes me Laugh He Makes me feel Safe and Secure and as if I don't have to worry about anything. But I do know that Everyone is'nt Perfect and Everyone Has Flaws and A past. We met through online apps and he told me he have three kids grown up. Well I like him at first and started to get to know him well by checking his Facebook and Instagram. After a week plus, I found out he talk to another girl which he want a long term relationship with younger girls but he don't want to involve any kids if I'm pregnant or not. He doesn't want kids anymore as he have three kids. Does that mean he just want someone who is going to be together just partner and not lifetime partner. Life had been blissful so far though I did face a lot of challenges including a failed long distance relationship with a man I wanted to spend my entire life with. He was two years younger to me, not matured and was not ready to have bigger commitments. Leaving him was indeed the most painful decision I had to take. Now, almost after 6 years, I met this man, who's 51. Honestly, he's the sweetest person I've ever come across in my life. He's such a caring, humble, loving, affectionate, and above all treats a woman rightly with much respect. Yes, he's married with three beautiful grown ups but unfortunately is neglected by his wife who doesn't seem to be bothered about his emotional needs anymore. He's very honest to me and have always mentioned about his love for the family although they don't appreciate him. I adore him so much. Although I do feel guilty for loving him, I can't help myself as the saying goes; Love is totally Blind.. I wonder why did we even meet and share a lot of common things together. Should I proceed or forget.. There are no issues so far. We love spending time together.. Even if it's doing nothing but napping together. We cook for Each other. I tend to be clingy and need to remember to give him space every now and again. For me, it's not about daddy issues or finances. I have always been attracted to older men. I believe I am capable of having a loving relationship with someone who is older Ridicule has been an issue. Usually by people who dont know us. For those peoe who we consider friends do not care and are happy for us. When we married I was 38. It was his my first marriage his second. I loved the man I married and we were very happy... BUT, the last 5 years have been very difficult. I was warned by my mom about marrying an older man. I only thought about the present. Now, 19 years into our marriage, I'm in the thrawls on menopause and my husband is not as active as he once was. He blames any discourse on my menopause and that I'm not the woman he feel in love with. The bottom line is we all change but if we do it together we have a better chance. My husband cant turn the clock back and I'm to young to be old. I love him for who he is. He is divorced with 3 kids, financial stability has been up and down. We both have the same income and at times I have had to pick up the bills when he could not work. Its not about money. I love him because he makes me feel good about my self, he lifts me up and makes me smile, and I do the same for him. I don't see an age difference until someone refers to him as my dad. We just hang out and have fun and go out on dates and talk about a bunch of random things, stories from the past ect. He tells me I make him really happy and he also does the same for me... I know this may sound terrible to people who don't think this kind of life style is appropriate but don't knock it till you try it I guess haha... In life you have to take chances or you'll miss out on a lot!! The irony is I actually found him more immature than the guy I am currently dating 4 years my senior. I think this article leaves out one important point; if an older man is interested in a woman much younger, surely that says something about his OWN maturity levels? What makes him reject women his own age? Is it really something so superficial as they don't look as hot anymore, or is it something deeper? Is he unable to keep up with the smart, self-assured mind of a more mature woman, for example? I didn't realise it at the time but, in some ways my ex seemed to enjoy being the one 'in control', by dating a much younger woman. I'm not saying this is always the case but, it's important to look at the other factors in his life to accurately gauge if he is actually an older MAN. Of course we all fall into rough patches in life that can affect these perceptions whether that be redundancy, repossession or divorce , but the important thing is to look at his maturity timeline as a whole. Does it mirror yours a woman much younger than him , or does it go beyond what you've already learnt from life? This motivated me to write a few lines on this site as well. Yes, she is indeed 22 years younger than me, and could be my daughter. On paper, we have very little in common. This is certainly a bit scary for both of us. We have received rather mixed comments from family members and friends. Most of them are a bit concerned. My oldest daughter 17 years of age had already a chat with my new partner. She was surprisingly positive and happy for her dad. After having spent up to five hours per day on Skype together, I have to admit that I cannot wait to meet her in Johannesburg in three days. She has certainly swept me off my feet. I am so much looking forward to talking to her in person. Please let me clarify that this is not just about sex from either side. I am fully aware of my responsibility as the older person in the relationship, and I know how it may look for bystanders. Therefore, I will make sure that she is feeling comfortable with whatever happens between us in the future. I have not searched actively for a young person. Previous partners were around the same age usually two years older than me. I have no intention to be a father figure, sugar daddy or a ticket to a potentially better life somewhere else. Finally, I am also not after a nurse or carer. We will decide together within about ten days how to move matters forward. I hope that we discover sufficient ground for a happy and long-lasting relationship as equal partners. In any case, I am sure that there is already sufficient potential for a life-long friendship. He's 22yrs older than me but hey I'm not counting. He's the most genuine person I know, honest in all his ways and loves talking to me and making me feel special. He's coming all the way to Africa, i mean that's enough commitment. Yes there's hurdles along our path but we know exactly how we feel about each other. He can still have a family and between us money is no factor and NO I don't need another daddy. After no luck with young men he was a real welcome change. And i am willing to make it work completely. I was incredibly lucky to be introduced to a man.. Later he did fessed up to doing some reconnaissance to check me out. It has been a wonderful journey, we're both blown away by our similarities in values, family experiences and how we connect; emotionally and intimately,. We have the most enjoyable and fulfilling relationship I've ever experienced. I'm 54, she 32. She found and pursued me. I had an issue with the age difference at 1st, but now 6 months later, I don't even see it. She is not the 1st woman I spoke with of this age. All were from overseas, and all told me young men don't know how to treat a woman, and that is why they pursued older men. Women from overseas are taught to take care of their man, unlike American women. We have common interests, I have a young heart, she, an old soul, and we both feel we have found our soul mates. The author does bring up some valid points, but as someone earlier stated, she's not looking for me as a daddy figure, I don't have money. She wants a man to love and care for her. To provide stability and protection. It will work, but communication is the 1 thing that has to be addressed for the relationship to work. Your 3 reasons are crap. You left out the vital one I was looking for.. I recently got involved with a man 14 years my senior. I don't want an older man, don't want his money, don't have daddy issues, no social needs. I just feel for him, we just flow, we just think the same, its just there. While you had a few good splashes in here, intentionally or not, your article comes across extremely degrading to women. Its all about what we need or get from it.. I was very slow to let him in my life because I was so concerned with the age difference and the inevitable scrutiny from others. There was no denying our chemistry and once I let him in, I discovered a whole new world of love I never imagined even existed. We have been getting to know each other for a little over a year, and I have grown and become better thanks for his support. He is a kid at heart, and I have an old soul. He keeps me interested and inspired, and I hope I do the same for him. I have never developed a specific type, especially toward older men, but a lust for excitement and connection. I never expected to fall in love with a man 3 years younger than my father, but there is no going back. He listens, forgives, does not judge... We have so much fun together, and I can't imagine ever growing bored of this one. We seem to match in ever way, even physically. He's still plenty young enough to have children, he has a good job, and he's never been married. Even after meeting online in a video game, crossing literally the entire world, and the age difference, we get on amazingly and we both feel that we're perfect for each other. We plan to marry, and begin to save up more money and have a child together. We share many of the same viewpoints and the age is really not a factor to either of us, it seems to matter more to other people actually. As someone who has had her fair share of terrible exes, I was amazed how infatuated I was with him at first. Everything just seemed to click. Now we have a home, a family, and my parents love him, too although he's old enough to be my father. Years later, I can say it was the best decision of my life. But please make that decision with your heart, not your wallet. We were both 21 and had been together for five years. After just over two years of marriage he out of the blue decided I was no longer the one for him. I work long hours and away from home a lot which was his reason for leaving. Fortunately we didn't have children and I have my own career. We had worked together for three years and although I always found him attractive I had never considered him. One night when we both got off early we decided to meet up. Everything was effortless the conversation never stalled, I never felt uncomfortable. Quite the opposite, I felt exhilarated. Not long after we began seeing each other physically. The sex was the best I've ever experienced. I've never felt love like I do with John. Unfortunately he's 20 years older then I am and stuck in an unhappy marriage. I feel terrible sleeping with a married man, but I suppose you can't help who you fall in love with. I don't think age should be a barrier unless you're looking for the wrong things out of a relationship. If you want an older man because he make your whole and happy go for it. If it's for his money you should reevaluate your priorities. Yet, the decision of marrying a 24 years older man is suffocating me! I can't imagine myself getting married of a 51 yrs man while I'm still 26!!!! In my society, divorced women doesn't have a variety of options; like me. Getting divorced in a young age made life harder; I stopped dating, I refused socializing, until I realized that I have been living in a cocoon that I have created. I am a mess right now. Marriages are fixed in my society. I was once fooled and married a man I never knew before because this is how things are here but I had a say in this marriage Thank God. Yet, I were meant to marry him for a reason; lesson learned. Thinking of starting the whole process all over again, is hard to think of. 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